Dark Magician One Half
by Linkthesecond
Summary: The Dark Magician goes Ranma! How will he cope? Read on and find out!


Dark Magician One Half: Chapter 1  
  
Linkthesecond: Yes...excellent...ah hello! Welcome to my (sound of bullet being chambered)  
  
er,ummmm I mean mine and a friend's new story! Yeah that's right...(sound of safety clicked back on)  
  
As the title may tell you, this is a mix of Ranma 1/2 and Yu-Gi-Oh. If you do not know what Ranma 1/2  
  
is, then you may not understand this. If you do not care, then read on and enjoy!  
  
Author's note: I have a very crappy word processor, so I can't put in italics. Just remember that  
  
when you see asteriks surrounding phrases in the story, those are thoughts, not open dialogue.   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Ranma 1/2, or any of there counterparts, although I wish I did.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Uuuuuuuuungh"  
  
In the lush green forests of Easter Isle we find the Dark Magician, trying his best to wake up.  
  
"Owwwww my heaaaaaad...."  
  
The Dark Magician, becoming concious, raises himself into a sitting position while trying to think  
  
about what happened last night.  
  
"Guess I got drunk again. Oh well. A coffee will sober me up."  
  
He started waking towards where his coffee maker normally is in his home, but since he is in a forest,  
  
he ends up walking into a tree.  
  
*BASH*  
  
*What in the...I don't remember this large object being here...Wait a minute...this feels like a tree...Oh  
  
crap! Why is there a tree?!?!?!?!?*  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!"  
  
Screaming like a little girl, he starts running around with his hands on his head, trying to make sense of   
  
what is going on. After getting all his screams out, he sits down and tries to think of why this is happening.  
  
Ok Ok, what can I do to help this situation?  
  
*How about getting sober?, hehehe,* his feminine side's voice snickered.  
  
"Very funny. Really, I need ideas." he said aloud  
  
*That's pretty sad, asking your inner monoulouge for ideas.*  
  
"Just shut up and help me out."   
  
*Well aren't we feeling feisty? Fine. Why don't you try walking around until you find some civilization?*  
  
"Good idea."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
As the Dark Magician left the clearing, a woman's voice is heard, laughing evilly.  
  
"Hahaha! That fool! Watching him suffer like this is quite satisfying. But it's not enough! He must know  
  
what it's like to be this way!"  
  
In a tree we see a young woman with a red syrum, filling a large needle with the syrum.  
  
"Once this poison enters his body, he shall never be the same! Ahahahaha!"  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
After walking through the forest for an hour or so, he stumbled upon a clearing.  
  
"This place looks familiar...the tree with a me-shaped dent in it, the grass with a me-print in it...."  
  
*You idiot! This is where you started from! Numbskull.*  
  
" I would have thought of that eventually!"  
  
*Yeah, when pigs grow wings.*  
  
"Yeah, well screw you to!" he retorted "Any more bright ideas?"  
  
*Why don't you try propelling yourself into the air useing your magic to look for civillization?*  
  
"I guess that could work..."  
  
Walking into the middle of the clearing, the Dark Magician points his staff to the ground, closes his eyes  
  
and starts to focus....  
  
"Ohhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...(eyes open suddenly) Go! Dark Blast!"  
  
A wave of dark energy spurts from his staff and hits the ground with incredible force! So much force, in fact,  
  
that the ground starts craking underneath him.  
  
"Oh crap..."  
  
*Oops, my bad.*  
  
The ground then opens up, revealing an underground volcano! Struggling, the Dark Magician tries to grab on  
  
to the ground that is still there, but it slowly crumbles away beneath his fingers.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!"  
  
After falling for what seemed like forever, the Dark Magician landed right on top of the volcano and started to  
  
feel the steam pushing underneath him.   
  
"Well, that can't be good....Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!" he screamed as he was propelled upward by the vol-  
  
cano's pressure.  
  
*Hey dummie! Your in the sky! Take a look around!*  
  
The Dark Magician takes a look to the right and sees a little cabin with smoke coming from it.   
  
*No biggie. Look the other way dummie.*  
  
He looks to the left and sees a little town.  
  
"Jackpot! Wait a minute...something doesn't feel right..."  
  
*Could it be that needle flying toward you?*  
  
"What needaaaaaAAAAAAAAOOOWWW!" he shrieks as a giant needle stabs him right in the shoulder!  
  
"That" "must be one giant" *cacking noise* "bumblebee!"  
  
A female figure suddenly appears and yells "I told you! I'm, not, a, BUMBLEBEEEEEEE!". She then flys to-  
  
ward him, and slams her feet onto the end of the needle, injecting the Dark Magician with the red syrum.  
  
"Now you will feel my pain!" as she flys away, storm clouds begin to gather, shutting out the sun.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
*Drip*  
  
"Uuuuuuungghhhh"  
  
*Drip Drip Drip Drip*  
  
"What the....."  
  
*Patter Patter Patter Patter*  
  
  
  
"Why is it...what in the..."  
  
*C'mon! Wake up!*  
  
Standing up, the Dark Magician looks around and says "Alright where is that woman?"  
  
*What woman? C'mon you need to get into town.*  
  
"Yeah yeah I'm going."  
  
As the Dark Magician walks away, the woman from before starts laughing maniacally.  
  
"Aha! It worked perfectly! The Dark Magician has become a girl! Maybe a bit too pretty, but still, he  
  
has lost his manhood! I can't wait to hear what he says when he finds out." Still laughing maniacally, she races  
  
off to the village.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As the Dark Magician came out of the woods, he saw the village.  
  
"Finally! Now, to find a place that sells beer..."  
  
*You mean to tell me that you just got stabbed, injected with a strange liquid, and the fact that you   
  
SHOULD be freezing, all you can think about is BEER?*  
  
"Correct!"  
  
*You are hopeless.*  
  
Talking a quick glance around, he sees a tavern called 'The Easter Isle Bar'.  
  
"Yay! It's like I always say, where there's a bar, there's a beer!"  
  
He then charges into the bar, skid-stops at the counter and says "Me need beer quick now!"  
  
The bartender, a red-headed elf, turns around and in surprise says "Woah slow down there hon, I'm   
  
gonna need to see some I.D."  
  
Glaring at the bartender, the Dark Magician says "Do I LOOK underage to you?".  
  
Looking at, from her point of view, her chest, she came to the conclusion that she was NOT underage.  
  
"Alright, I believe you. So what do you want?"  
  
"A fresh, cold beer would be nice."  
  
Surprised, the bartender says "Wow. You don't look like the kind of girl who would want a beer first."  
  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" said an outraged Dark Magician "I'm a guy!"  
  
"You may want to look down hon."  
  
  
  
"Alright but I don't see....Ho-ly schiesse on a cat. I have boobs! Aaaaaaahhhhhh!"  
  
Screaming, he runs into the bathroom.  
  
"My God where did I get these?" He says as he opens his robes to check them out.  
  
Unfortunately for him, he ran into the men's bathroom and had just given them all something they wouldn't  
  
forget for some time.   
  
Still screaming, he ran out of the men's bathroom into the girl's bathroom, closeing his robe as he was   
  
doing so.  
  
  
  
"Man this is strange. Why would I suddenly grow breasts? It makes no.....Woah."  
  
He had just looked into the mirror, and was amazed at what he saw.  
  
"I-I'm a girl. I don't believe it. I'm really a girl."  
  
*No shit Sherlock. Whatcha gonna do about it?*  
  
"I dunno. But I bet this has something to do with what I did last night."  
  
*Wow. You figured that out all by yourself?*  
  
"Up yours. Maybe I'll ask that bartender. She may know something."  
  
As he walked out of the girl's bathroom, there's a crowd of guys outside it, hopeing to see more.  
  
"C'mon show us again!"  
  
"Yeah that was awesome!"  
  
"Can I touch them?"  
  
The Dark Magician, who's trying to get into character, slaps them and knees them all where the sun   
  
don't shine.  
  
"If you talk to me again, I'll do something far worse!"  
  
Smiling, he sits down at the counter.  
  
"So where's that beer I ordered?"  
  
"Right here. By the way, the name's Gem."  
  
"Hi Gem. You can call me, well, I don't really have a name....."  
  
"You don't? Awww poor baby..."  
  
"There's an idea! Why don't you call me Baby?"  
  
"Well, alright, Baby, a drink to your new name!"  
  
"Hear Hear!"  
  
Gem and 'Baby' lift their glasses, clink them, and drink them down.  
  
"Hey!" Gem said as she remembered something "I just remembered something." Tongiht is our weekly   
  
Wet T-shirt contest at the bar here! We are a bit low on contestants, so would you mind joining?"  
  
"Well, I guess so....what's the prize?"  
  
"This!"  
  
She pulled up a staff from underneath the counter that read on it: 'For magical purposes, AND pleasure!  
  
The most powerful (and pleasuring) staff in the world!'  
  
Knowing that if he refused he would blow his cover, so he agreed to enter.  
  
"Alright I'm in."  
  
"Goody!" she said as she handed him a T-shirt that said Easter Isle Bar!, a miniskirt and a thong. "Now go get  
  
changed! Competition is in 5 minutes!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Linkthesceond: Damn I' (sound of bullet chambering) I mean we (sound of safety put back on) yes,  
  
yes very good, are good, aren't we?  
  
Linkthesecond's friend: Indeed we are! For all you Ranma fans I'll bet you know what's going to happen!  
  
Linkthesecond: No more hints! *smack*  
  
Linkthesecond's friend: Oh your goin DOWN *smack*  
  
  
  
(smacking noises heard in back ground)  
  
  
  
Linkthesecond: Don't forget to *smack* review! 


End file.
